I read with great interest today in the ST about the results of a study done by NUS sociological professors. Apparently, two reasons why women are not willing to have babies is because of high expectations of mothers and lazy husbands.

Regarding the first reason on high expectations of mothers, seriously, give women a break can? Today, the epitome of a successful woman is one with a high-flying career, a pillar of support to the husband, a housewife and a 24 hour on-call mother. How many women are capable of juggling so many roles successfully at once? It’s small wonder why young women these days delay childbearing or not even want children at all. It’s so stressful to be a Singaporean woman these days.

As for lazy husbands, I don’t think that it’s a very big problem, considering that only 1 in 4 isn’t helping out with household chores. I think it’s a vast improvement from 30-40 years ago. However, these 25% of men should also take a good look at themselves. What reason is there for a man to leave the house to the care of the woman and not lift a finger to help? It’s a husband and wife relationship, not a master and servant relationship. If I hear of any man, in particular the younger ones not bothering to help out in housework, I’m going to give that man an earful.

I would think that childbearing is an event that’s stressful enough for a woman. I would think that nine months of pregnancy is tough business, and it’s not over for the woman once the kid is born. Post natal depression is something that’s very real and tormenting for the woman as well. I think the first issue that has to be resolved to increase the fertility rate is the role of the man in the childbearing process.

Men should no longer be harbouring the idea that their role in child-bearing is over once the pregnancy is confirmed. In terms of procreation, men have no practical use other than supplying the necessary sperm to fertilise the ovum. If man cannot play a role in childbearing beyond that of being a sperm supplier, women should just lock all the men in this world up in cages and extract the necessary to procreate. Men must make themselves more useful than being a sperm bank.

Therefore, men should be more willing to share in doing household chores, changing diapers, feeding the baby etc. These little things, when taken off the shoulders of the woman will make childbearing much less of a dreadful experience. Sure, it may seem a little un-natural for men at first, but practice makes perfect. Plus, didn’t men vow during the solemnisation ceremony to care for their partners in sickness and in health? I think that caring includes household chores and taking care of the baby.

While we try and encourage women to have more children, I think an equal effort has to be placed in convincing men to play a greater role in childbearing and child-raising, especially those MCPs (male chauvinist pigs). It takes two hands to clap.

Note:
I’m not a NATO (No Action Talk Only) person. I can do housework (clean, wash, iron.. anything else I left out?) and cook. I intend to attend childbirth classes together with my wife when the time comes. And, I will NOT sit outside the delivery room. I’m can’t give birth, but the darn least I can do is to be beside my wife as a pillar of support.