Comments, opinions and an occasional ramble
On whiners and those who whine about whiners
According to dictionary.com, the term whine is defined as “to snivel or complain in a peevish, self-pitying way“. It would seem that Singaporeans in general like to whine. Just hop on a taxi and chat with the taxi uncle. Chances are, he will regale you with a ton of complaints/whines about the “gahmen”. Sit at coffeeshops for a day and you are sure to hear some negative remarks about the “cheng hu”. Read Singaporean blogs and you are almost definitely going to read plenty of writings slamming the government.
For some Singaporeans, such “whines” are viewed with disdain. They think that their fellow Singaporens have a “crutch” mentality, and that these people are better off looking into a mirror to see what is wrong with them instead of blaming the government all the time. There is this typical arrogant attitude with such people, who I think typically are well-educated and well-to-do people. The fundamental assumption of such people is that people who “whine” are lazy, unmotivated and just wants the government to babysit them.
This brings into mind the case of the boy who died serving NS because the doctors at the hospital who were attending to him (mind you, they are very senior doctors) accused the boy of malingering (which means pretending to be sick) in order to escape his NS duties. Eventually, the boy died of acute baterial infection, which is something that is likely to have been easily treatable in the early stage with proper administration of antibiotics. I remember reading an article in Time magazine in which a US colonel was quoted to have said, “Assumption is the mother of all f*ckups”.
My point here is that we should not put a blanket label of “whiner” when people complain. Sure, there are some people who like to complain for the sake of complaining. However, does this mean that we thus assume that everyone who complains is like that? When we do that, we conveniently cast aside those who might genuinely be calling for help. In some cases, the assumption that someone is whining won’t kill him. In other cases, such as the case of the NS boy, it killed him. And, as some people like to say, to assume is to make an ASS out of U and ME.
Besides, for those who like to casually dismiss the complaints of others as “whining”, the act itself speaks volumes about the character of the person. To not want to empathise and start accusing others of whining smacks of arrogance. By empathising, it does not mean that a “crutch” mentality will be engendered as a result. That happens when one sympathise, not empathise. To empathise is to understand the situation and work out a feasible solution with them for them to undertake while to sympathise is to solve the problem for them, which is the thing that causes the so-called “crutch” mentality. The inability to differentiate between empathy and sympathy is perhaps the greatest problem with whiners about other whiners.
I bet those whiners about other whiners are going to read this and start saying that I’m a whiner. Their actions are just so predictable. It doesn’t affect me though. I just find it amusing that these people go around so readily pointing their fingers at others and conveniently forget that they too are guilty of the same sin. In anycase, what’s so bad about whining? People need to let off steam sometimes. I think I pretty much let off quite abit of steam with this entry.
| Print article | This entry was posted by Aaron Ng on 24/05/2007 at 2:58 pm, and is filed under Perspective. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site. |


about 4 years ago
I don’t disagree with you, but I do think that the other side of the coin should not be dismissed lightly. I thoroughly empathise with the case of the NS man who died because the doctors thought he was malignering, but on the other hand, there are many many NS guys who are guilty as charged.
Both my mother and my fiance are in the SAF and they have many many stories to tell of many many men who are on MC 365-days a year. They would miraculously produce 5-day MCs for very mild fevers. When I had a high fever of 39.7 degrees, I was only granted a 2-day MC, so it is truly perplexing how they manage to get these 5-day MCs. They tell me stories of how these men have allegedly injuries (these injuries very conveniently recur on the eve of an important mission) and are unable to do any vigorous exercises for a certain period of time, but are sighted to have transformed into fierce tigers when engaging in a game of football.
They tell me stories of these men who have had their grandmothers pass away 5 times, their mothers taken to the hospital at least a dozen times. I mean, come on!
I think it is especially sad because when a genuine case crops up, it makes people doubt the veracity of the reason given for going on sick leave or skipping out on missions.
In fact, I have heard that doctors are now so afraid of denying these NS guys their MCs because of the case you cited above, that the NS guys are completely abusing and violating the system. The fact is, some illneses are very easy to fake and despite being experts, doctors won’t be able to discern the honest ones from the others who are just out to deceive them.
I think in the circumstances, it is very very easy to feel that yes, these guys are whining. I admit to being guilty of it. I just don’t think you should be too hard on such people. They are not right in subscribing to such beliefs, but in my opinion, it is a very easy mistake to make and the real people to blame should be the people who are genuine whiners, the ones who blame the whole world but themselves for any unfortunate circumstance, and the ones who are never in the wrong because they are always right.
about 4 years ago
Sounds like a lot of people i know, people who are in the States’ Times every day!
With Shae, i do tend to agree that there is a certain way that the system is being abused. During NS, i used to be very hard on my trainees, but i think the key is knowing when is enough. I do pull the plug when i feel that enough is enough (although my trainees might not have said so.)
The question is what is this standard of enough? There is an overall lack of empathy from our politicians and all, (although they get very emotional when their reputations are threatened) and i don’t know what we are to them – machines? statistics? potential returns?
And so they accuse us of whining. If they were in our shoes, wouldn’t they whine as well? Power corrupts. But as long as they believe themselves to be always right, which has been the case so far, i don’t see how they are going to be proven wrong. Maybe if you do find a true flaw, you’ll kena a defamation lawsuit for challenging the authority of our Lightning Gods.
In their eyes, we’ll always be whiners. I don’t intend to polarise society further, but we must see the polarity before we can start coming back together.
about 4 years ago
In sleep he whined to me
In dreams he came
That voice which calls to me
And speaks my name
And do I dream again
For now I find….
The whiner…of Singapura is there
Inside my mind…
(He’s there, the whiner…of Singapura…
Beware, he’s the whiner of Singapura….)
*P.S. I’m referring to those who whine about the whiners….
about 4 years ago
The tragedy with regards to the NS case is that those who are innocent are often adjudged guilty and those who are guilty go scot free. As my learned friend Guojun can attest.
This attempt to label critics whiners is nothing new. I have been attacked as a whiner who just wants to see fireworks by some pro PAP fella (who happened to be a MLM marketer but anyway back to the point).
Anyway who are they to call people whiners since they are whining that we are whining, and they are also whining that their pay is not enough and they are not being compensated adequately for “service to country”? It goes both ways.
about 4 years ago
The Whiner of the Opera…someone suggest it to talkingcock…maybe there’ll be another show soon
about 4 years ago
It’s true that some people abuse the system with MCs, but it’s unfair for doctors to make a judgement whether the patient is telling the truth or not. I remember once a doctor in NUH told me that this practice is against their medical ethics. Whether this is the case or not, to me doctors’ job is not to check morals but to treat patients.
about 4 years ago
In all your fantasies, you always knew
that minster’s pay increase, was over due
and in this small red dot, ideals have died
the whiner of Singapore is here, inside my mind
about 4 years ago
Hi Shae,
I’ve been through army myself and I know exactly what you are talking about. But seriously, when we start operating on certain assumptions and stereotypes, how do we answer if something happens? It might be hard to be always giving the benefit of doubt, but that one fish that gets away might very well be the one that leads to a consequence that no one will be able to fully shoulder.
about 4 years ago
Criticism can be called whining, and it can also be called feedback/raising awareness about a problem. I wonder why that so many Singaporeans call it whining. Even the ST once published an article with a picture showing a whiner voting for the PAP behind his back.
I think that the easiest way to do something against a system which we think needs change is to voice out. Unfortunately, people who do that will always be labeled as whiners as long as they don’t “offer solutions” or take action, such as “start their own political party”.
about 4 years ago
Agreed. Labeling people as “whiners” is just a way of trying to shut out voices you don’t agree with.
…If I don’t like what I am hearing from you, you are just whining, so I don’t have to take anything you say seriously. In fact you should just stop talking if you are not here to “offer solutions”….
sheeesh…
about 4 years ago
And no, Singapore is not elitist! Haha!
You can also put it this way: ‘Since i don’t like what you are saying, I can tell you to shut up. Why? Because i can.’
about 4 years ago
All you whiners are losers!! Especially Aaron who is whining about people who are whining about people who are whining. This is whining in the 3rd Degree that Aaron that committed!!!!
Why is there so much whining in Singapore?
1. Extraordinary government. The govt is so good that anything that goes wrong is due to the people’s own defects. People are whining about our leaders are just deflecting responsibility.
2. Economic hardship. People whining about hard work and the tough situation in Singapore just lazy. Why can’t you work until age 80? Why can you live on $290 per month? Why do you think that $800 pay is not enough? …Stop whining okay!! What you get is due to your own lack of ability rather than policies of the PAP. The govt is so kind they imported hundreds of thousands of Foreign Workers to help you. Yet you’re still whining. Plse go collect your workfare to pay up for your utilities bill arrears. ..the govt don’t like you to owe money okay.
3. Whining about price increase. Loser whining that things are getting more expensive. Please
lah they only look expensive because you’re poor. Being poor is another way of being a loser in Singapore.
4. Whining about lack of political freedom. Come on lah! If you’re are as elite as our top leaders, you will be politically free to do ANYTHING including increasing your own pay.
Whiners are losers and there a plenty in Singapore. You see them everywhere from foodcours to restaurants. Learn not to be such a loser …learn to appreciate the grand achievements of the PAP.
about 4 years ago
I am sorry, Lucky!
I will change and i will love my leader$! Thank you Lucky for showing me the Light!
about 4 years ago
Serving NS is just so WRONG!!!
about 4 years ago
chambersburg hospital
about 1 year ago
@Lucky Tan
Wow Tan, I find that comment you made kind of ironic about how much you hate whiners and yet you’re probably the worst one I’ve seen XD. Who in the heck is going to listen to a person who bashes harshly on everyone and then just suddenly tell them to get on their side? Seriously dude, whining can either be a good or a bad thing. Look at the Civil Rights Movement, did blacks complain because they weren’t getting enough freedom based on their skin colors? Yes they did but at least it was complaining that nearly everyone can agree upon and look how much freedom they have now compared to back then. That is, if you’ve ever learned about the Civil Rights Movement here in America. I may sound like a complainer but at least I do it to stand up for something and you putting in such a drastic and close-minded comment is something I can barely tolerate on.
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