The newly unveiled measures to encourage Singaporeans to have more babies is about the best that the government can offer to help couple remove financial hesitations with regards to having babies. Of course, some people will say that more can be done and should be done but I think the government has offered a fairly generous and reasonable package of incentives and there really isn’t much left that can be done.

While money is no longer a big obstacle to having babies given the rather generous handouts, there are other concerns that I have which the government cannot possibly address, and I don’t expect the government to even try. It’s a personal battle that I have to fight together with my wife.

Unlike a few generations ago where the mentality towards having kids leans towards “have them first and worry about bringing them up later”, I think these days, particularly among the more highly educated Singaporeans, the mentality has reversed. One can point to many factors that cause this reversal but the point is, the reversal in mentality is here to stay. And, I am unable to (at least not yet) convince myself to adopt the mentality of the folks from my grandparents’ era towards having kids.

There are a couple of personal reasons for this. The biggest reason is the high level of competitiveness in schools and I’ve seen for myself the kinds of tremendous negative consequences such competitiveness have on people I know. I will not provide details to protect the identities of the persons I am referring to but it scares me. Seeing such cases have enlightened me and while I might not pressure my future kids in school, the level of competitiveness in schools might just make my kid voluntarily pressure himself/herself.

I would hesitate to blame the education system for providing pressure on students, though. I think it’s more of parents who are causing voluntary pressure in kids. Some parents send their children for all kinds of tuition and enrichment classes and children do share such experiences with classmates. If the majority of the kids in the class have extra tuition and enrichment classes, kids who don’t are going to be seen as an anomaly and they will feel pressured even though these kids might have enlightened parents who are trying their best to avoid pressuring the kid. Such a pressurized education environment isn’t something the government can address with policies.

And of course, there’s National Service for boys. I’ve been through National Service and it’s not completely bad. I learned quite a few things out of it. However, I didn’t have a choice. And I want my son (if I have one) to have a choice. If I cannot let him have a choice, then I rather not have him in the first place. I understand the rationale for having compulsory military service but I don’t want to have my kid already have the decision made for him. I didn’t have a choice and I don’t want him not to have a choice as well.

So, the bottom line is that while there are no financial disincentives, there are other personal reasons not to have kids. The quality of childhood life is an important consideration in having kids, and now that I think about it, it is perhaps a more important reason than the financial cost of bringing up kids. I guess Singapore is a great place to work in but when it comes to raising kids, I am not quite certain.

Anyway, I think I still have a few years to think. Maybe I will change my thoughts in time to come as I experience more and learn more but right now, I don’t think I want to have kids, at least, not here.