I agree with much of what agagooga says about the double standards which screw men over.

I also agree with jol’s point about how the system has often been skewed towards men.

I’m not going to claim that equality is not worth striving for, or that women are inherently inferior to men- or vice versa. That is just narrow-minded.

I agree with much of what agagooga says about the double standards which screw men over.

I also agree with jol’s point about how the system has often been skewed towards men.

I’m not going to claim that equality is not worth striving for, or that women are inherently inferior to men- or vice versa. That is just narrow-minded.

If any of you women on here live or even visit the United States, you’d better watch out for any guy you meet that acts chivalrous towards you. Even if you meet guys on the Internet. It can deceptive sometimes. When you meet a guy, here are some things to remember:

-Don’t let him get anything for you to eat or drink for you at a social event, restaurant, etc. Get it yourself. He might have put date rape drugs in the food or drinks, or he could do other dangerous things.
-Hold every door open yourself. Sometimes guys may follow you and attack.
-Don’t let him walk you to your vehicle, hotel room, house, etc. Don’t even give him your keys, either.
-Pay for your own date if you must. The guy shouldn’t always pay for the date.
-When checking your coat at a nightclub or bar, for example, please keep your claim ticket. Don’t give it to the guy or else he might lose it or tear it up.
-Don’t even let him offer you his arm when walking, not even his hand when you need to get up from your seat.
-Of course, as for the sitting and standing parts, you need to take care of that yourself, not him.

Please don’t let a guy you just met act like a “gentleman” towards you. Let him do it when you fully know him and trust him.

I know, that happens a lot in the modeling industry and there are situations in which women are being taken advantage of by chivalrous men that they don’t know and trust well but it can happen elsewhere, not just the modeling industry. Sometimes a male friend or boyfriend can get involved as well.

Patriarchy is about an entire system and complex of attitudes controlled by some men and which, on the round, tends to benefit men in some way and benefit women in some way, although I would argue it benefits men in general more. An analysis of the underlying MEANINGS and MINDSET defining patriarchy also show a particular denial of agency to women (although also a contempt for men in a variety of ways, it tends not to limit men’s overt agency as much). Moreover, even though only a limited subset of men gain the full benefits of patriarchy, men are not as totally automatically DISBARRED from the “benefits” on a gender-based criteria (although the vast majority are disbarred on other criteria). While I think the “benefits” whether for men or women also, in the round, kind of suck if you care about people connecting as people, rather than people as resources to squeeze pleasure out of and to dominate, this explains why it is called male dominance and not female dominance.

But it follows from all of this that I think men in general would be better off (as judged partly materially but primarily under a value system which does not value domination) without patriarchy, and I also think some women behave in a way that supports the patriarchy (e.g., people like Thio Li Ann).

So “patriarchy” is NOT saying men are all evil or that they all coordinate their actions to oppress women. For instance, it is a patriarchal view that women should be the property of men – this is profoundly insulting to women obviously, but ALSO to men, since it says that men are the sort of brutes who would like to treat women as chattel. Feminists are precisely the people who say, men do NOT by their nature HAVE to dominate, do NOT have to rape, do NOT have to have ownership and control. Feminists hope for better for men. It is the cultural phenomenon and systemic attitudes of patriarchy that we opposed, NOT MEN. You are attacking a strawfeminist.

Finally, you really need to not say things like “oh it’s ok now because you’re not property” because, jeepers creepers, is that something I’m supposed to grovel and show DEFERENCE and GRATITUDE for? It’s no less than I deserve.

if feminarchy exists, society will privilege women and they will have all the power
yet it is arguable how much our society privileges men and they do not have all the power

women dont occupy the top posts because they’re less competitive, more risk averse etc
women earn less because they work less, and because they may get pregnant and drop out of the workforce (and even when they return they will earn less)
legal responsibility for birth control is on men, but not women. women can get an abortion any time regardless of what the men say, but men must pay child support for children they don’t want. and even socially the men is expected to use the condom
heels are not compulsory – you have a choice often enough. and most women LIKE to wear them. burqas are in islamic countries – I don’t disagree that women are disadvantaged there

women have equal protection and say under the law
they are not the property of men as in ages pastthey can work and vote
they do better at school than men and make up more of the enrolment
people are nicer to them
it is socially acceptable for them not to work

the prevailing acceptable social climate is biased against men

“Singaporean men marry foreign women because they’re losers.
Singaporean women marry foreign men because Singaporean men are losers.”

if there’re more men than women in school, it’s because women are discriminated against
if there’re more women than men in school, it’s because patriarchy is repressing them.

if men do better than women in science and maths tests, it’s because women are discriminated against
if women do better than men in the arts, it’s because men are lousy. or patriarchy is repressing them.

if men are overrepresented in top jobs, it’s because women are discriminated against
if men die earlier, it’s because they cannot cope with life and take up behaviors that harm them

‘feminarchy’ is my answer to the discursive tactic feminists use of blaiming everything on ‘patriarchy’
which begs the question

if women are screwed, feminists blame ‘patriarchy’
if women are privileged, feminists blame ‘patriarchy’

it’s intellectually dishonest

no matter what you do you’ll always come out with ‘patriarchy’ as the culprit
ie men are evil
I prefer to call it ‘sexism’

historically women were discriminated against more
however they like to dig up past wrongs
and imagine current ones

You think because men are subject to conflicting expectations, similarly, if women are subject to conflicting expectations, that can’t be a function of “patriarchy”. However, the conflicting expectations identified as “patriarchy” that apply in respect of women qua women are much more all-encompassing, powerful, pervasive, and intrusive, than those (which I acknowledge) that apply to men qua men (I also acknowledge there are some pretty shit conflicting expectations that apply to men, however these when analysed often turn out to be a function of patriarchy, e.g. reserving certain dangerous as the province of men only, stupid masculinity norms impinging on men’s freedom, homophobia against gay men etc. – and guess what they are the very same things feminists rail against). Moreover, there are men who have positions of real power (for instance, in government, in media, in business, in education) etc. who play a much greater role in shaping these expectations than women, who as a class are much less represented in those positions of real power. The thing is, as I keep trying to explain, this isn’t a MAN V WOMAN smackdown – when you ANALYSE the attitudes underlying the crap expectations facing both men and women you get what is traditionally identified as “patriarchy”. I don’t get the sense however that you object merely to the term, you seem to object to the very analysis and REJECTION of the traditional attitudes. You don’t think equality is worth striving for (you’ve admitted as much), and you think women are generically inferior to men (you talk about this continually on your blog). So, you know, basically, you kind of LIKE PATRIARCHY. Why don’t you just get behind it and argue for it openly instead of pretending it doesn’t exist?